What I Wish Non-disabled People Knew About Me

Remember these guys?



They are the emotions inside of us, created by Disney's/Pixar's "Inside Out"

Well, Disney doesn't exactly own our emotions.
AND NEITHER DOES PIXAR, or maybe they do but who cares?

Anyways, our group was having a conversation on what we wished those of you who don't have disabilities knew about us.
If you feel in anyway demeaned by this post and like I am making assumptions, well that's what those of us with disabilities have to go through. So less push a button

and turn some tables. Shall we?

Oh wait, I wrote a book about forgiving people. I know, I know. I'm not saying I don't forgive anyone (Though forgiving is way harder than I make it look in my books. That awkward moment when you set standards so high, right?) Because  I want everything to be all sunshine and rainbows.

So, back to putting you on trial and sentencing you to life (Just Kidding!)

Anyways, in all seriousness...

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, EXCEPT TO MAKE THE LIST LOOK ORGANIZED AND PERFECT)

1.    This here, is our friend, Disgust, from Inside Out.  those of us with disabilities know what looks good on us. You may be like "OMGSH! I LIKE TOTALLY WANT TO GIVE THIS PERSON A MAKEOVER  BECAUSE I LIKE TOTALLY DONT CARE WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MIRROR LIKE I KNOW WHAT LOOKS LIKE MORE MANAGEABLE AND LIKE WHAT EVERYONE IS WEARING THAN WHAT THEY DO LIKE OMGSH LIKE TOTALLY LIKE OMYGOODNESS"
But, you see we have our own idea of what looks good too. Also, you don't see everyone we are around be in in person or on the internet. Expecting us to dress a certain way to  have and accept having shorter hair than we want is demeaning. Plus, whose to say we aren't TOTES sitting there, thinking you look horrible and we hope to never look like you? And, if we DO think you are FABULOUS, why ruin a pretty face with an ugly comment? Whose to say we want our hair an clothes like everyone else, anyway?

Oh, and here's MAL from Disney's Descendants


I prefer my hair super long and my clothes to be anything from edgy to flowery. ACCEPT IT OR GET OUT OF MY LIFE
 YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE OUR HAIR OR OUR CLOTHES BUT DONT YOU DARE TRY TO CHANGE IT. AS LONG AS WE LOOK OUR GENDER AND ARE NOT BEING VULGAR OR IMMODEST, THE REST DO NOT MATTER. GUYS CAN HAVE EAR TO SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR AND STILL BE SHORT. IF A WOMAN NO MATTER WHAT HER FLUBBERGASTED HEIGHT AGE OR DISABILITY HAS LONG OR REALLY LONG HAIR THATS GOOD. WOMEN AND GIRLS SHOULD NOT BE TOLD TO CUT THEIR HAIR!!!



Who invited Anger? Go away. Least favorite Inside Out character. Also, if you don't particularly care for my taste in fashion, but just let me to my thing that's okay. You can stay in my life and I'd probably like you more for it. When you can love someone and not care how they look, regardless of your opinion, that is a good thing. We can't all love the way each other looks. Everyone has flaws and what is beautiful to one person is ugly to someone else.

2. WE ARE NOT BEING REBELLIOUS




OMYGSH AFTER ALL THESE YEARS SHAWN HUNTER FROM BOY MEETS WORLD AND NOW GIRL MEETS WORLD IS SO HOT OMYGSH IM DYING!!!!IM SWEATING FROM HOTNESS WHY CANT ALL GUYS BE THIS CUTE OMYGSH!!!

Okay...focus...

So, we are NOT being rebellious or BAD. Yes, anything against the Bible is bad, but hear me out.

We have our own morals, beliefs and values. We aren't a bunch of nothings who morals and values you should push aside and ignore. WE ARE HUMAN FREAKIN BEINGS AND THATS A FACT, JACK

Yes, I acknowledge there are rebellious people everywhere regardless of disability, but to think about that would be missing my point that we have a set of morals, values and beliefs like everyone else does.

3. YOU CANNOT SAY OR DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO US REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU DO STUFF FOR US. DO YOU WANT US DOING THE SAME TO YOU?

4.  IF WE GET MAD AT YOU, YOU BET YOUR SWEET BOTTOM YOU DESERVED IT AND WE ARENT BEING DRAMA. DONT GO GETTING PISSED AT US WHEN YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE IS THE ONE WHO PISSED US OFF.  HOW WE FEEL IS REAL.

Now, I know miscommunications and misunderstandings happen and I acknowledge there are people out there that are being way dramatic and stir up stuff.

This would be the time for you to explain calmly what you or the other person meant. Also, if we knew you felt bad when you sad something hurtful or disrespectful to us, that would calm us down. Just try to tell us what you really meant and that you want to work on changing your behavior or words to improve our relationship. Everyone has a story. Tell us your side and let us tell you ours.


You also may need to realize those of us with disabilities aren't always the one with a problem. Sometimes, it's you or the loved one. That's when you need to admit it. We all need to admit it, whether we have disabilities or not, that sometimes we are the one with a problem and not the other person.

5. We have our own goals and dreams. Please respect and encourage that. I want to do art and write more books. I want to profit from my work and help others with my work.

6. I really prefer to pray quietly. Do you REALLY think I want everyone around me to know what's troubling me? LIKE, TOTES EMBARRASING
 Oh, but Evie from Descendants outfit isn't. It's fabulous!

Anyways, I get intrusive thoughts because of my OCD that pray for the opposite of what I want or say the opposite of what I want and believe. SO, I have to pray over them. I know God knows my heart and what I truly believe and desire but still.

7. I talk to myself to figure things out.



Even JOY from Inside Out would agree that's not such a bad thing. Cuz, you know, she tries to keep control of things in the movie

I'M NOT PSYCHO OR WEIRD, I'm just trying to figure something out. Don't try to tell me you never had to, say, recite something or read it out loud.

I can get a little loud at times, when I do that. Sorry.

8. We have our fears. IF we don't brush our hair, ask us why. I worried brushing too much would cause split ends or it to fall out when I was a teen. I didn't realize brushing a few times throughout the day IS NOT the same as brushing a bunch of times in a row.

9. We have our things that make us happy. Please let us be happy.

I like Girl Meets World



10. I am listening, or trying to.

11. Sometimes I don't know the difference between someone else's opinion and mine. SO, please don't confuse me.

12. Don't make us feel bad for things we shouldn't feel bad for.
13. I have a lot to offer the world and if I could change it, I so would. I SO WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD, IF I COULD
14. I try to be nice to people and I really am. Sometimes, I just get pushed past my breaking point where I no longer feel like being nice and letting people walk over me.
15. I have an opinion about other people. Sometimes, I think someone is being mean, rude  or a bully.
16. I'm not looking for you to be perfect, but if I'm upset about something , it takes two to make a relationship work.
17. I hate conflict
18. I hate confrontation
19. I am fiercely loyal
20. I can be PISSED OFF at you and LOVE YOU at the same time
21. No matter how I feel about you, right is right and wrong is wrong.
22. It is against Jesus to hold grudges and I try not to. Everyone makes mistakes and I know I have too. However, it is hard for me to move on and let go. I could love and enjoy  everything about you but still acknowledge you did or said something wrong towards me in the past.
23. Do not call me or tell me not to be a dunce.
24. Do not wish bad things upon me.
25. Listen.
26. Consider I may actually (GASP!) be right about something
27. Consider I may be telling the truth and the other person is lying
28. Do not threaten to no longer help me, no longer be my friend, or with meno longer being welcome.
29. DO NOT blame everything on me. Not everything is my fault and you know it.
30. NO MEANS NO, not ask until I convince myself it's a good idea and say yes.
31. I try to think positive but not too positive
32. I'm afraid of being disappointed

Honestly, I could call this hat I wish people new about me. Both people with AND without disabilities could benefit from this list. The goal here is to reduce the stigma and stereotypes towards those of us with disabilities. That is why I titled the list the way I did. I have been hurt/made upset by both people with and people without disabilities. I just think those of us who have disabilities need to advocate more for ourselves and let the world see who we truly are. We need to be heard just as much as everyone else.

IF you are on the nonverbal side with your disabilities, writing a blog would be a great way to communicate how you feel. I have verbal autism, but I know you can be nonverbal and communicate through writing.

This isn't us versus them. This isn't "These people are bad and have the worst intentions for us" It's just the truth.