Bullying Versus Being Rude Versus Mean

There are plenty things on the internet about this topic. Tonight, "Girl Meets World"  put on an episode about bullying. Riley (Rowan Blanchard) was hurt by the words of her best friend, Maya (Sabrina Carpenter) because she said something which hurt her feelings. As it turns out...


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Riley was being bulled.

Mr. Matthews, aka Corey (YES, THE COREY MATTHEWS played by Ben Savage) said there is a difference between bullying and a conflict with friends.

Bullying.


When a person is constantly taunting you in a mean way, excludes you and shuns you for a reason that is not due to personal safety, health, etc. that is an example of bullying. Now, there are situations people should not involve themselves in, even if it means staying away from a certain person. That is removing yourself form a harmful situation.

However, not giving someone a chance at friendship or excluding them is bullying. One time, I was a freshman in highschool (back when there were unicorns). I would try to talk to people at my highschool's football game but I could only get a few words out. They barely paid much attention to me. Kids in my Drama class kept saying "Satan" as a way of taunting me for wanting to follow Jesus. I've even had strangers say cruel things to me online or try to turn other internet people away from me a few times (Eighth grade and early twenties).



Mean.

When a person is being mean to hurt, that person means to hurt your feelings but it isn't constant. In a moment of anger, even close friends say something mean to one another. That is mean and hurtful, but not bullying.

Rude

I've had people tell me to cut my hair, even though I'm a female and believe women are supposed to have long hair. That may not always be bullying or even mean but it is rude. If my beliefs say my hair should be long, then people need to respect that. Also I like by face better with really long hair, I have since I was almost fourteen. People need to respect that too. Though, when a camp counselor kept offering to braid my hair to complain I need it cut, how sticky and unpleasant to look at it was, etc that could cross into bullying. This is especially because a few others joined in and one asked if I ever thought I was getting on people's nerves. UM, EXCUSE ME? This was going into eleventh and twelfth grade.


When it's just rude, that means the person is not trying to be mean. The person does not want to offend, intimidate or hurt you. That person just has an idea or an opinion based on his or her preferences.

Also, people can be rude because he or she has a bad day. A person could seem to be making a disapproving stare at you but what if it was something else? What if it wasn't you, but the person thought of something upsetting and made the face?  Rude is being unintentionally mean.

Mean is being a jerk intentionally because of anger issues. A person could curse at you one minute and be nice to you the next. When a person is simply mean, he or she is not thinking far enough about whether the person is hurt or not.  Being mean IS sinful, evil and wrong. Jesus wants us to be KIND towards one another. Still, it is not bullying.

Bullying is when you go out  of your way to taunt or intimidate someone. This can be physical, verbal, emotional or mental. Bullying is ganging up on a person or being mean to the person even when you know the person is hurt by it. I had a friend in eighth grade who died because of it.

She and her mother were house sitting. They dropped her older sister off at school  and then they went into the neighbor's garage. Garage door down, car windows closed and doors shut. The gas was turned on and they died because she kept coming home and crying over having no friends. My teachers would not let me go to her funeral because I needed to catch up in math class.

If you are contemplating suicide, picture this: The person you kissed, hugged, made plans with, spoke to... crying because you are no longer in their lives. Your dog, who loved you be sad because you aren't there any more .. That's what my friend's dog was doing when I visited after the death. Her dad, her sister and her dog felt it. I felt it. My classmates felt it. None of us know whose idea it really was. I highly doubt someone would let her daughter suggest killing herself and the said mother.

Sometime later, I am not exactly sure when, I put a wrapped mint candy on my friend's grave, I knew she wouldn't be able to take it but I wanted to do something. I don't believe we should talk tot he dead but visiting a grave isn't that. It's getting closure and letting yourself grieve. It's letting anyone who's with you  know about that part in your life.