What I Wish Non-disabled People Knew About Me

Remember these guys?



They are the emotions inside of us, created by Disney's/Pixar's "Inside Out"

Well, Disney doesn't exactly own our emotions.
AND NEITHER DOES PIXAR, or maybe they do but who cares?

Anyways, our group was having a conversation on what we wished those of you who don't have disabilities knew about us.
If you feel in anyway demeaned by this post and like I am making assumptions, well that's what those of us with disabilities have to go through. So less push a button

and turn some tables. Shall we?

Oh wait, I wrote a book about forgiving people. I know, I know. I'm not saying I don't forgive anyone (Though forgiving is way harder than I make it look in my books. That awkward moment when you set standards so high, right?) Because  I want everything to be all sunshine and rainbows.

So, back to putting you on trial and sentencing you to life (Just Kidding!)

Anyways, in all seriousness...

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, EXCEPT TO MAKE THE LIST LOOK ORGANIZED AND PERFECT)

1.    This here, is our friend, Disgust, from Inside Out.  those of us with disabilities know what looks good on us. You may be like "OMGSH! I LIKE TOTALLY WANT TO GIVE THIS PERSON A MAKEOVER  BECAUSE I LIKE TOTALLY DONT CARE WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MIRROR LIKE I KNOW WHAT LOOKS LIKE MORE MANAGEABLE AND LIKE WHAT EVERYONE IS WEARING THAN WHAT THEY DO LIKE OMGSH LIKE TOTALLY LIKE OMYGOODNESS"
But, you see we have our own idea of what looks good too. Also, you don't see everyone we are around be in in person or on the internet. Expecting us to dress a certain way to  have and accept having shorter hair than we want is demeaning. Plus, whose to say we aren't TOTES sitting there, thinking you look horrible and we hope to never look like you? And, if we DO think you are FABULOUS, why ruin a pretty face with an ugly comment? Whose to say we want our hair an clothes like everyone else, anyway?

Oh, and here's MAL from Disney's Descendants


I prefer my hair super long and my clothes to be anything from edgy to flowery. ACCEPT IT OR GET OUT OF MY LIFE
 YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE OUR HAIR OR OUR CLOTHES BUT DONT YOU DARE TRY TO CHANGE IT. AS LONG AS WE LOOK OUR GENDER AND ARE NOT BEING VULGAR OR IMMODEST, THE REST DO NOT MATTER. GUYS CAN HAVE EAR TO SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR AND STILL BE SHORT. IF A WOMAN NO MATTER WHAT HER FLUBBERGASTED HEIGHT AGE OR DISABILITY HAS LONG OR REALLY LONG HAIR THATS GOOD. WOMEN AND GIRLS SHOULD NOT BE TOLD TO CUT THEIR HAIR!!!



Who invited Anger? Go away. Least favorite Inside Out character. Also, if you don't particularly care for my taste in fashion, but just let me to my thing that's okay. You can stay in my life and I'd probably like you more for it. When you can love someone and not care how they look, regardless of your opinion, that is a good thing. We can't all love the way each other looks. Everyone has flaws and what is beautiful to one person is ugly to someone else.

2. WE ARE NOT BEING REBELLIOUS




OMYGSH AFTER ALL THESE YEARS SHAWN HUNTER FROM BOY MEETS WORLD AND NOW GIRL MEETS WORLD IS SO HOT OMYGSH IM DYING!!!!IM SWEATING FROM HOTNESS WHY CANT ALL GUYS BE THIS CUTE OMYGSH!!!

Okay...focus...

So, we are NOT being rebellious or BAD. Yes, anything against the Bible is bad, but hear me out.

We have our own morals, beliefs and values. We aren't a bunch of nothings who morals and values you should push aside and ignore. WE ARE HUMAN FREAKIN BEINGS AND THATS A FACT, JACK

Yes, I acknowledge there are rebellious people everywhere regardless of disability, but to think about that would be missing my point that we have a set of morals, values and beliefs like everyone else does.

3. YOU CANNOT SAY OR DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO US REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU DO STUFF FOR US. DO YOU WANT US DOING THE SAME TO YOU?

4.  IF WE GET MAD AT YOU, YOU BET YOUR SWEET BOTTOM YOU DESERVED IT AND WE ARENT BEING DRAMA. DONT GO GETTING PISSED AT US WHEN YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE IS THE ONE WHO PISSED US OFF.  HOW WE FEEL IS REAL.

Now, I know miscommunications and misunderstandings happen and I acknowledge there are people out there that are being way dramatic and stir up stuff.

This would be the time for you to explain calmly what you or the other person meant. Also, if we knew you felt bad when you sad something hurtful or disrespectful to us, that would calm us down. Just try to tell us what you really meant and that you want to work on changing your behavior or words to improve our relationship. Everyone has a story. Tell us your side and let us tell you ours.


You also may need to realize those of us with disabilities aren't always the one with a problem. Sometimes, it's you or the loved one. That's when you need to admit it. We all need to admit it, whether we have disabilities or not, that sometimes we are the one with a problem and not the other person.

5. We have our own goals and dreams. Please respect and encourage that. I want to do art and write more books. I want to profit from my work and help others with my work.

6. I really prefer to pray quietly. Do you REALLY think I want everyone around me to know what's troubling me? LIKE, TOTES EMBARRASING
 Oh, but Evie from Descendants outfit isn't. It's fabulous!

Anyways, I get intrusive thoughts because of my OCD that pray for the opposite of what I want or say the opposite of what I want and believe. SO, I have to pray over them. I know God knows my heart and what I truly believe and desire but still.

7. I talk to myself to figure things out.



Even JOY from Inside Out would agree that's not such a bad thing. Cuz, you know, she tries to keep control of things in the movie

I'M NOT PSYCHO OR WEIRD, I'm just trying to figure something out. Don't try to tell me you never had to, say, recite something or read it out loud.

I can get a little loud at times, when I do that. Sorry.

8. We have our fears. IF we don't brush our hair, ask us why. I worried brushing too much would cause split ends or it to fall out when I was a teen. I didn't realize brushing a few times throughout the day IS NOT the same as brushing a bunch of times in a row.

9. We have our things that make us happy. Please let us be happy.

I like Girl Meets World



10. I am listening, or trying to.

11. Sometimes I don't know the difference between someone else's opinion and mine. SO, please don't confuse me.

12. Don't make us feel bad for things we shouldn't feel bad for.
13. I have a lot to offer the world and if I could change it, I so would. I SO WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD, IF I COULD
14. I try to be nice to people and I really am. Sometimes, I just get pushed past my breaking point where I no longer feel like being nice and letting people walk over me.
15. I have an opinion about other people. Sometimes, I think someone is being mean, rude  or a bully.
16. I'm not looking for you to be perfect, but if I'm upset about something , it takes two to make a relationship work.
17. I hate conflict
18. I hate confrontation
19. I am fiercely loyal
20. I can be PISSED OFF at you and LOVE YOU at the same time
21. No matter how I feel about you, right is right and wrong is wrong.
22. It is against Jesus to hold grudges and I try not to. Everyone makes mistakes and I know I have too. However, it is hard for me to move on and let go. I could love and enjoy  everything about you but still acknowledge you did or said something wrong towards me in the past.
23. Do not call me or tell me not to be a dunce.
24. Do not wish bad things upon me.
25. Listen.
26. Consider I may actually (GASP!) be right about something
27. Consider I may be telling the truth and the other person is lying
28. Do not threaten to no longer help me, no longer be my friend, or with meno longer being welcome.
29. DO NOT blame everything on me. Not everything is my fault and you know it.
30. NO MEANS NO, not ask until I convince myself it's a good idea and say yes.
31. I try to think positive but not too positive
32. I'm afraid of being disappointed

Honestly, I could call this hat I wish people new about me. Both people with AND without disabilities could benefit from this list. The goal here is to reduce the stigma and stereotypes towards those of us with disabilities. That is why I titled the list the way I did. I have been hurt/made upset by both people with and people without disabilities. I just think those of us who have disabilities need to advocate more for ourselves and let the world see who we truly are. We need to be heard just as much as everyone else.

IF you are on the nonverbal side with your disabilities, writing a blog would be a great way to communicate how you feel. I have verbal autism, but I know you can be nonverbal and communicate through writing.

This isn't us versus them. This isn't "These people are bad and have the worst intentions for us" It's just the truth.

Bullying Versus Being Rude Versus Mean

There are plenty things on the internet about this topic. Tonight, "Girl Meets World"  put on an episode about bullying. Riley (Rowan Blanchard) was hurt by the words of her best friend, Maya (Sabrina Carpenter) because she said something which hurt her feelings. As it turns out...


SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER COVER YOUR EYES



Riley was being bulled.

Mr. Matthews, aka Corey (YES, THE COREY MATTHEWS played by Ben Savage) said there is a difference between bullying and a conflict with friends.

Bullying.


When a person is constantly taunting you in a mean way, excludes you and shuns you for a reason that is not due to personal safety, health, etc. that is an example of bullying. Now, there are situations people should not involve themselves in, even if it means staying away from a certain person. That is removing yourself form a harmful situation.

However, not giving someone a chance at friendship or excluding them is bullying. One time, I was a freshman in highschool (back when there were unicorns). I would try to talk to people at my highschool's football game but I could only get a few words out. They barely paid much attention to me. Kids in my Drama class kept saying "Satan" as a way of taunting me for wanting to follow Jesus. I've even had strangers say cruel things to me online or try to turn other internet people away from me a few times (Eighth grade and early twenties).



Mean.

When a person is being mean to hurt, that person means to hurt your feelings but it isn't constant. In a moment of anger, even close friends say something mean to one another. That is mean and hurtful, but not bullying.

Rude

I've had people tell me to cut my hair, even though I'm a female and believe women are supposed to have long hair. That may not always be bullying or even mean but it is rude. If my beliefs say my hair should be long, then people need to respect that. Also I like by face better with really long hair, I have since I was almost fourteen. People need to respect that too. Though, when a camp counselor kept offering to braid my hair to complain I need it cut, how sticky and unpleasant to look at it was, etc that could cross into bullying. This is especially because a few others joined in and one asked if I ever thought I was getting on people's nerves. UM, EXCUSE ME? This was going into eleventh and twelfth grade.


When it's just rude, that means the person is not trying to be mean. The person does not want to offend, intimidate or hurt you. That person just has an idea or an opinion based on his or her preferences.

Also, people can be rude because he or she has a bad day. A person could seem to be making a disapproving stare at you but what if it was something else? What if it wasn't you, but the person thought of something upsetting and made the face?  Rude is being unintentionally mean.

Mean is being a jerk intentionally because of anger issues. A person could curse at you one minute and be nice to you the next. When a person is simply mean, he or she is not thinking far enough about whether the person is hurt or not.  Being mean IS sinful, evil and wrong. Jesus wants us to be KIND towards one another. Still, it is not bullying.

Bullying is when you go out  of your way to taunt or intimidate someone. This can be physical, verbal, emotional or mental. Bullying is ganging up on a person or being mean to the person even when you know the person is hurt by it. I had a friend in eighth grade who died because of it.

She and her mother were house sitting. They dropped her older sister off at school  and then they went into the neighbor's garage. Garage door down, car windows closed and doors shut. The gas was turned on and they died because she kept coming home and crying over having no friends. My teachers would not let me go to her funeral because I needed to catch up in math class.

If you are contemplating suicide, picture this: The person you kissed, hugged, made plans with, spoke to... crying because you are no longer in their lives. Your dog, who loved you be sad because you aren't there any more .. That's what my friend's dog was doing when I visited after the death. Her dad, her sister and her dog felt it. I felt it. My classmates felt it. None of us know whose idea it really was. I highly doubt someone would let her daughter suggest killing herself and the said mother.

Sometime later, I am not exactly sure when, I put a wrapped mint candy on my friend's grave, I knew she wouldn't be able to take it but I wanted to do something. I don't believe we should talk tot he dead but visiting a grave isn't that. It's getting closure and letting yourself grieve. It's letting anyone who's with you  know about that part in your life.

How to Love/Understand an Extrovert

There are a lot of posts going around about introverts lately. So, I decided to write a post about loving/understanding an extrovert.

Disclaimer: Picture belong to Austin and Ally, Girl Meets World, Frozen, How to Train Your Dragon, Brave, Rise of the Guardians, Beauty and the Beast, Narnia, a Narnia cast picture,  and Lord of the Rings.

1.Understand we are not trying to be annoying. We just want you to be our friend or we already are friends and us extroverts really like you :)

2. Call, text or message us first every now and then. That way we know you like us.

3. Make plans with first every now and then.

4. Know that some of us prefer adventure, art and literature.

 5. Just because we are quiet, does not mean something is always wrong when we are.

6. However, we think something is wrong when you are and really don't mean to...we're just awkward.

7. Reassure us when we are concerned how you feel about us.

Yeah, we're kinda like Riley or ALOT like Riley from Girl Meets World.

8. Be happy for us when we are happy

9. We get depressed  too :(

10. Sometimes, we try to be more reserved.

11. Other times, we just have to...wait for it, wait for it

LET IT GO

12. Sometimes we care what other people think of us

13.Sometimes, we don't.

14. Then, there are times we try not to care.

15. Some of us do not want to be around the shallow, self-absorbed  people we are stereotyped as. Do all of us really wanna be like or with Gaston? NO

16. We may have a short attention span, but we really do care.

17. We have our boundaries too.

18. Some of us wish we were introverts, but we just can't stop talking and feeling like we need to be on the go.

 19. We CAN get really tired.

20. After all, we are human.

Christian Indie Authors Thanksgiving Blog Hop

I am thankful for Jesus Christ because He died for my sins and rose from the dead. I am also thankful for friends and family. I hope I bless teens and young adults with my books and those age groups enjoy them.
You can check out my books here:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=cilimberg&sprefix=cilimb%2Cdigital-text%2C149


Here is the Page for a contest, so you can comment, leave your email and win a free  copy.
http://idea-creations.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-thankful-writer-christian-indie.html

Ten Things To Do When You Are Bored

Disclaimer: All pics in this exact post I  found online.


 Do you ever get bored and distracted easily no matter what? Here are ten things to keep you occupied:

1. Belt "Let it Go" from Frozen at the top of your  lungs


2. Watch Youtube Videos. That Paper can wait five minutes. Better yet, you could always listen to Soundtrack scores and it will actually help you homework performance.



3. Tell everyone you are bored

4. Sleep



5. Drink coffee or tea from coffee or tea shop of choice


6. Go on a walk.



7. Read a good book


8. Do Artwork

9. Sing "I'll Make a Man Out Of You" from Mulan


10. Call, text or Facebook somebody.

H. L. Burke, Author: Guest Post: Character Development in Deep River Hi...

H. L. Burke, Author: Guest Post: Character Development in Deep River Hi...: Today we have a guest post by author Shaina Cilimberg. Shaina is the writer of the Deep River High Series and enjoys art, writing, r...

Autism and Faith

I have written a blog post for Brett Fish, detailing what it is like to have Asperger's Syndrome. Here it is : 

http://brettfish.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/taboo-topic-living-with-disablity-meet-shaina-cilimberg-aspergers-disorder/